20 Questions For Games Seven

20) Can Rafer please please please put a slap upside Eddie House's head again?
Without question, the signature comedic moment of the playoffs so far. It has been called a bitch slap, a Rick James slap, or an Italian Grandmother slap. All are equally valid. I just want to see this phenomenal gesture of disrespect repeated.

19) How legit is Aaron Brooks?
Apparently very. Every time I watch the Rockets play, I am more impressed with his ability to get into and then out of the paint on any defense in the league. Derek Fisher might not be the youngest or quickest guard in the league, but Brooks is making him look downright arthritic. Add him to the NBA's shockingly long list of intriguing, young point guards.

18) Doesn't Luis Scola deserve a good nickname after his Game Six performance?
I think so. Of course, you can always sign me up for more nicknames. The three finalists I came up with on Thursday night:
3) Sweet Lou Scola
2) The Big Greezy
1) Lion of The Pampas

17) Is the Gasol/Bynum/Odom the softest, title-contending front line of all time?
Yes.

16) What kind of officiating will we see in LA?
This is precisely the kind of game where David Stern's preferences seem to come disgustingly into play. A week ago, it might have been a toss-up (don't underestimate how much the powers that be would like to see Yao go deep in a post-season), but now it seems clear that the Lakers will be getting every questionable call and even some not so questionable ones. Plus, its at home. Plus its Kobe.

15) Can Allen get it going?
Ray Ray has been ice cold the last couple games, but don't underestimate him. Allen is a Professional Shooter. I also think he needs one or two more jaw-dropping explosions in clutch games to solidify his position among the all-time shooting greats.

14) Does Brian Scalabrine have scoliosis?
Have you watched this dude run down the court? I mean really watched? I swear one leg is shorter than the other. At first I didn't want to pile on just because it seemed too obvious. But c'mon on...

13) Does anybody think the Lakers bench is anything but average at this point?
No. In fact, they kind of stink, if you don't count Odom. Forget the Cavs, having the superior bench. I'd take the Nuggets and even the Rockets bench over them too.

12) Any chance we'll see an actual fight tonight?
Probably not. After some seriously lively confrontations for the first couple weeks of the play-offs, things have really quieted down. This is partially due to some exuberant officiating and partially due to the fact that stakes are higher. There might be a few flagrants, but I can't really see anybody risking a suspension. Maybe next week, when the Denver Knuckleheads get back involved.

11) What does Rajon Rondo have in store for us?
Despite the struggles of the Celtics, Rondo has made the most impressive leap of anyone during the play-offs. No one would be surprised in least, if he dropped a triple-double tonight. Think about that. How many players can you say that about? Also, nobody would be surprised if he dropped to his knees during an out-of-bounds play and karate chopped Hedo Turkoglu in the nuts.

10) If the Rockets, lose how will Ron react?
As much I am rooting for Artest to succeed, its interesting to consider how he could react to failure - not only because he is a fundamentally volatile guy, but because there is an inordinate amount of pressure on him. He was brought in to fill a specific role for Houston (toughness, defense, third scoring option), and now he's the face of a franchise playing on the big stage. And the track record isn't great...

9) If it comes down to a final possession, who will take the last shot for Orlando?
This is the most ridiculous thing about the hazy, Howard-Van Gundy controversy this week: Is anybody sure that Howard actually wanted the ball? I mean, its one thing to complain about it after you lose, but was Dwight actually demanding it when it mattered. What's the point of having a dominant center if he doesn't dominate in the last five minutes? But this point, you are who you are in the playoffs, and it'll more than likely be Rashard or Turkoglu taking the big one. Which is actually not such a bad thing...

8) Along those same lines, will the Chuck-Wagon call out Howard tonight?
Barkley loves calling out soft, big men. If the Magic lose, or even if they win but Dwight plays poorly, I'll be waiting for some borderline offensive commentary from Sir Charles.

7) What does Pierce have left?
Everybody is talking about legacy these days, but few people bring up Pierce. If he elevates his game tonight, even if its just with an incredible fourth quarter, I think this season because a pretty damn strong part of his all-time great resume. Love them or hate them, this Celtic team has been seriously fiercesome in the face of major adversity, and a lot of that has to do with Pierce. At times, he looks tired and old, but he does he still have a few heroic plays in him?

6) If the Lakers lose, how will Kobe react?
Anybody who watched the premier of Doin' Work last night knows that Kobe has (theoretically) transitioned into a fantastic super teammate over the last two seasons. However, some of us still have a sneaking suspicion that a narcissistic backstabber still lies just beneath that shiny veneer. If the Lakers lose this game - and, granted, that's a huge If - go ahead and set your Tivo for a tremendous press conference of muted, cold rage.

5) If the Lakers, lose how will Phil react?
This one is actually slightly more interesting though. Everybody says Phil will stay in coaching till he beats Auerbach's record, but could he really stay with the Lakers after this kind of second-round exit? His health problems are well-documented, and it seems unlikely that Jackson, or Bryant, or the Laker front office, would simply load back up for an third crack at it with the current cast. Which all points an potentially dramatic (and hilarious) off-season.

3) Why does it feel like an upset every time Boston beats Orlando?
The Celtics are the defending-champs, the two seed, and hold home court. The Magic have never gone deep in the play-offs with this current roster. Yet every time Boston wins one, this series takes on a bizarre underdog feel. Remember back in 2007, when the Warriors scrapped their way to series win over the top-seeded Mavs, how everything Baron Davis and Stephen Jackson did seemed to work, and Dallas could never put their superior talent to work. I hate to say it, but this Boston-Orlando series reminds me of Warrior-Mavs in some way. Like Rondo is Baron's evil, scrawny twin. Opposites on paper but sharing some strange, mirrored destiny: to pull out an improbable series victory...and then get murdered in the next round.

2) What is the King thinking right now?
It seems pretty obvious that the Nuggets would rather face Houston next week - you always, ALWAYS, want to see Kobe dead and buried in the post-season. But who would the Cavs rather face? I'd guess Orlando. Boston would still be the champs and you never know... Actually, screw that! You do know. Lebron couldn't care less. No one, living or dead, can guard him. He isn't even watching the game tonight. He's playing Settlers of Catan with Warren Buffett and Jay-Z.

1)Are the Lakers mortally wounded?
Forget that Phil is playing it cool. I think LA will likely win tonight, but there is most definitely something wrong with this team. Over the course of the next few weeks, this weakness will be exposed over and over again, till it costs them a series. Mark it down.

And will there be anything funnier than renting Doin' Work after it happens?