Mind Of Blue

NBA Preview by Committee Part 2: Rebound

2009-10-13T10:33:00.000-07:00

Dear JBH,

I've pondered several ways in which I might respond to your last post on our favorite schizophrenic professional athlete.

I could have listed the many ways in which Artest has hurt or helped his teams in the past, and the potential for him to repeat these performances in myriad ways over the next eight months, but I think we've exhausted that line already.

Or I might have responded to your question with a list of additional questions in search of some explanatory power: "Do you think he likes Los Angeles as a city?" "What is his over/under for games suspended this year?" "Did the Lakers have to hire more security guards to protect their season ticket holders from personal injury?" "Do you see a Shaq/Artest mixtape in the cards for next summer?"

But these efforts all seemed guided by my attempts to find reasons for why Ron "The Melee" Artest might succeed or fail in LA and the ramifications on the Laker's season. The problem with this strategy is, of course, that things like "reason" and "consistency" don't really apply to a man like Ron Artest.

So, after many sleepless nights, I reverted to my old college ways and decided to plagiarize from Wikipedia to help in my prediction for the fate of Ronnie Defense.

"Chaos theory," says the magic Wiki, "studies the behavior of certain dynamical systems that may be highly sensitive to initial conditions. As a result of this sensitivity, which manifests itself as an exponential growth of error, the behavior of chaotic systems appears to be random. That is, tiny differences in the starting state of the system can lead to enormous differences in the final state of the system even over fairly small timescales."

The Zenmaster needs to hope that he's setting up RonRon with the right initial conditions. Otherwise, well, we've all seen what can happen.

Speaking of unstoppable forces, my toss back to you is focused on Beantown's new southern rival. Do you think the Magic made enough improvements over the summer to repeat in their conference championship performance, or will Lebron and the new defensive unit be too much to overcome?

Still too scared to put the Celtics under the microscope,
JC

NBA Preview By Commitee Part 2

2009-10-09T20:26:00.000-07:00

JC,

I see your point on Kevin. Not at all sure that the youngster's scoring touch, precocious and prodigious as it is, makes the Thunder any better. The thing is...I don't care. OKC could have 30 wins, 13 wins, or 3 wins next season, and it really wouldn't excite me. What would excite me? If I get to tune in several times a week all season long and watch Durant do his New-And-Improved-George-Gervin routine for 44 minutes a game. That would excite me.

And I stand by my prediction.

As for the Big Aristotle in Cleveland, I'm not entirely sure what to expect. On the whole, I think the acquisition will be viewed as at least a partial disappointment, since I don't think it solved any of Cleveland's mortal flaws. But I don't really buy the theory that Shaq's personality is going to ruin the whole thing. I get that he's used to the spotlight and has clashed what with a lot of sidekicks in the past, but do you really think he's the kind of ego maniac that would blow up a chance to bring Lebron his first title? I don't see it.

I'd be a little more worried about the chemistry involved in a different off-season addition.

I speak of Los Angeles. And Mister Ron Ron.

This summer he released a "rap" tribute to the deceased Michael Jackson. It does not contain many rhymes per se. It does contain reference to crying, carrying firearms, and meeting Mr. Jackson in heaven "next year".

Uh huh. Any thoughts on the new Laker?

Concerned About My Man,
John

NBA Preview by Committee Part 1: Rebound

2009-10-09T09:20:00.000-07:00

Ah, the blogosphere. How I've missed thee. It's hard to believe that just five short months ago we were meditating our way into a drunken stupor while the Celts were busy finding ways to drop games 6 and 7 to a sporadically efficient Orlando Magic squad. But hey, at least everything turned out well with KG's knee...

And here again is my friend Johnny, back to his old ways of slurping Kevin "Big Win Over New Mexica State" Durant. We get it, he's a good player, but his team is shit and his franchise has some serious karma issues to contend with. And can I take this chance to pose some serious questions: Why does OKC's jersey look like the mesh tanktop they hand out at registration in an outdoor three-on-three tournament? They're paying these guys millions, if not tens of millions of dollars each year and they can't spring for someone to design some better uniforms? Does Durant's agent have any say in this?

As for Durant winning the scoring title this year, I would refer to my dear State Rep and ask you: "On what planet do you spend most of your time?" You're right to call up Kobe and Dirk among those he needs to pass, but that list also includes BronBron and DWade, and I don't see all four of these boys slipping down behind a kid who only recently earned the right to walk though a casino. I could see Durant jumping ahead of Danny Granger (surprised me too) and one or two of the other guys this year, but adding 4-5 pts a night is a pretty incredible feat, even for someone who made it all the way to the second round of the NCAA tournament.

I think the most important aspect related to this prediction, though, is whether or not Durant winning the scoring title is actually good thing for his team this year. Sure, Green knows how to get his points by cleaning up on missed shots, but what does Sefolosha do if he's not asked to be a scorer? He certainly didn't pick up any good habits playing with Derrick Rose and the rest of the underwhelming Chicago cast during the first three years of his career. And most everyone agrees Westbrook is in for a stellar sophomore season, but what happens when he gets winded and (GULP) Shaun Livingston steps on the floor to command the offense? The relative success of the Thunder this season will likely hinge on Scott Brooks' ability to weave together at least a somewhat balanced offensive attack. Otherwise, if/when the Thunder become competitive enough for teams to take them seriously, it won't be difficult for opposing squads to frustrate their one-dimensional offense (see: Lebron James, et. al.)

Bringing things over to the East for a moment, my question posed to you is this: Can Shaq thrive in a supporting role in Cleveland, or will his ego cause him to lash out at Lebron after a few months of playing second fiddle to the new King of Parquet Castle.

I think Shaq ends up starting the fiasco that leads to BronBron saying goodbye to Cleveland. But does that mean we all have to start liking Kobe again?

Yours in nervous anticipation,
Cooter

NBA Preview By Commitee Part 1

2009-10-08T00:04:00.000-07:00

Dear Mister Jeffrey,

Hoops finally starts for real tonight and not a moment too soon, as I think you will agree that this is already shaping up to be one of the worst NFL seasons of our lifetimes. It also comes as a rather welcome occurrence considering that nearly a dozen topics of NBA intrigue have been consuming my every waking thought for the past few weeks.

Is Garnett setting us up for another season of magic or a colossal disappointment? How much better can Bron Bron get? How about D Wade? Are the Wizards a conference contender or one of the worst teams in the NBA? And what about those off-the-charts bonkers two weeks where Al Jefferson looked like Kevin McHale just before he got injured?

After one of the crazier off-seasons in history, we are finally back and business and ready to investigate these mysteries of our beloved game.

What I propose to you, sir, is little back and forth banter to start the season off. I'll toss a topic out to get us started. You come back at me - agreeing, refuting, illuminating, or insulting - and then add your own proposal. We add a new one each day for the next two weeks, all leading up to Cleveland's October 16th visit to San Antonio to face Timmy Duncan's Spurs.

Ready?

I'll start things off with a modest proposal about one of the most electrifying young men currently lacing up hightops in the Association: Kevin 'Long and Smooth' Durant.

My man will lead the league in scoring this year.

Last year he posted 25.3 a game to place sixth in the category, but don't forget that it wasn't really till APRIL that they switched him to small forward. Once he moved there, the kid exploded for almost 31 a game! Everything you heard during the summer - including truly glowing reports from US Basketball mini-camp - sounded like there's a breakout year on the horizon. And most importantly, unlike a few of the men who finished ahead of him last time - Dirk and Kobe come to mind - it feels like Durant might actually get more rather than less shots this season.

By the way, he shoots about 48% from the field and 42% from three.

Durant was murderous as a 20 year old. What is he capable of at 21? And you know what will be really interesting if KD ends up taking the scoring title? The Thunder are only scheduled for one nationally televised game all season long.

Time to take another look at that League Pass...

Your Brother in Excitement,
JB

ARE YOU READY...

2009-10-06T11:50:00.001-07:00

FOR THE 2009-2010 NBA SEASON?

Money Mike

2009-08-28T20:32:00.000-07:00

What do Gatorade, Nike, and Wheaties have in common? They are three of the biggest sports-related corporations on Earth and they all got to where they are today on the back of the incomparable Michael Jordan.

And don't even get us started on Gentle Treatment hair products.

Mike was the greatest athlete of our lifetime but also the greatest pitch man in the history of the planet. So with his much-anticipated induction into the Hall of Fame just next month, we break out the Top 10 Jordan commercials of all time.

10) I always thought a better end to this would be if Bird lost the bet on the last shot and, as punishment, had to put on that outfit that Jordan is wearing...but this one is still pretty good.

9)You know how they say that Walken just never turns down a part? Well in those early days, Mike never turned down a pitch...

8) "Mike, man, that's cold..."

7)So smooth: no words needed.

6)Always loved that they brought back Mars. The folks running Nike just did it right.

5) Man, this song makes me smile. Doesn't this ad make you feel like World Peace is possible in our time? Everybody loves this ad. Even Craig Ehlo.

4)Probably the best concept of any Jordan spot. Magic and Larry had each other. Mike only had Mike.

3) Couldn't pick a better song. I wish this commercial lasted 45 minutes.

2) "Brooklyn, New York...1963..."

1)The copy in this ad is better than 99% of the writing in Sports Illustrated. I think Don Draper wrote it.

In Indecent Times

2009-08-25T15:29:00.000-07:00

Most of us, it would seem, don't want virtue in our sports. We don't have room for it.

Maybe that's why so many Americans scoff at the Europeans and the South Americans and the Africans and the Asians and their soccer. With all it's drama of heroes and villains, of politics and morality and national tragedy, we just can't relate.

In America, who cares?

This week, the NCAA announced that it will vacate the University of Memphis's 2007-2008 Men's Basketball season. On the one hand, this story is really something, considering that (1) the decision concerns a team that made the Final Four and was generally considered the best in the land for most of the season (2) the controversy centers around the deceitfully concealed ineligibility of Derrick Rose, the college game's best player that year and a young man who may end being one of the most memorable NBA players of his generation and (3) the man captaining the ship at Memphis was none other than John Calipari, the highest paid coach in college basketball and a man who had another Final Four vacated thirteen years ago after scandal involved with cash and - oh yes - prostitution payments to players came to light.

On the other hand, once again, who cares?

Certainly not John Calipari, who'll make over thirty million dollars over the next eight years at his new gig at Kentucky. Not Derrick Rose, who's onto bigger and better things with the Chicago Bulls. Not the University of Memphis, which had been a virtual basketball unknown before the Calipari years put them on the map.

Don't look to CBS Sports: they got their money last March regardless. And don't look to ESPN and or the curmudgeonly, coffee-soused sportswriters of America's newspapers: they're free to issue a few obligatory complaints, but they've got to move on. The Dark Prince, Mike Vick, is quickly approaching.

And who can blame them, we suppose? We've gotten to a point where there is so much money and television and corrosive incentive involved, can we really be surprised when they go this way?

It's even hard to get riled up about Calipari. Sure, in less relativist times, he would be excepted to serve as a moral example, a leader who shaped young men above all else. But as Rick Pitino might say, John Wooden is not walking through that door, fans. Dean Smith is not walking through that door and John Thompson is not walking through that door.

This is the college the basketball we have. And this is the man who, in many ways, is it's new king.

If you want to blame anyone, blame the NCAA - the sniveling, fangless, effete little watchdog who lets this stuff happen time after time. By failing to deter any of the players involved, they end up encouraging rather than discouraging cheating.

And of course, like their revolving door counterparts on Wall Street and in the Steroid-soaked Major Leagues, they coincidentally get rich along the way.

How long till the World Cup starts?

Unstandable Smooth Shit That Murderers Move With

2009-08-11T20:09:00.000-07:00

Remember way back when dudes wore teal and purple jogging suits, Arkansas and St. John's had respectable squads, and Ross Perot was gonna be the next President? In those days, my personal style exclusively involved a pair of blue Umbros and a Larry Johnson jersey, but if it hadn't...I'd like to think I'd have worn what Kevin Buckets Durant wears in this video.

Also, respect to Mo Williams for looking like a real real real soft Eazy-E. I guess.

Give Me One Reason Why Popovich Isn't Laughing His Ass Off

2009-07-31T07:49:00.000-07:00

Lamar Odom has finally stepped up and resigned with the Lakers after a month of negotiations, and Los Angeles will now probably will the consensus pick to repeat next year.

But even with Odom back, how much better have they actually gotten? How is swapping Trevor Ariza for Ron Artest in 2009 a beneficial move? And if you just won a championship, why are you messing with the program like this?

If you read this blog with any regularity, you know that I love Ron Artest. But allow me to remind you of just two things:

Thing 1

and of course...

Thing 2

And you just signed that dude to a five year contract? I'm just saying...

Old School Treat of The Week

2009-07-30T08:03:00.000-07:00

Chuck was my childhood hero. Don't let the obesity fool you. Dude could move.

A State of Conditional Hope

2009-07-27T22:40:00.000-07:00

In a summer of unexpected turns, perhaps no basketball story has been as tantalizing as the sudden emergence of Anthony Randolph.

First there were murmurs that the 20-year-old had grown an inch since the regular season, put on 25 pounds, and was working out like a maniac. Then there was this 42 point explosion in Las Vegas. Now Randolph has turned heads at USA basketball, earning praise from some as a pleasant surprise of last week's minicamp.

For the Golden State faithful, tales of the imminent arrival of Anthony Randolph have been discussed breathlessly since last winter. The 2008-2009 season was an almost entirely miserable and hopeless one, but you'd never know from watching a Warriors home game. Oracle Arena stayed packed all year long. A home crowd that may have been the loudest in the entire league went crazy - Crazy! - night after night for a team that couldn't crack thirty wins.

They cheered Brandon Wright when he went one for two from the line. They cheered Jamal Crawford when he dribbled superfluously through his legs and knocked down a three after missing five in a row. They even cheered when the half time entertainment, a trio of hype men known as the Flying W's, missed one of their final trampoline-aided dunks. After all, the little dudes had heart.

The loudest cheers, though, were always for Randolph.

Even the best 7 footers in the NBA are remarkably limited in their mobility. Watch this video of Greg Oden and Brook Lopez going at it in a Team USA scrimmage and count how many times they stop at mid-court and don't get involved in a transition play because the break simply got ahead of them. Think back to the play-offs and how important it was for teams like Houston and Orlando not just to slow down their offensive attack, but to literally stop and wait for prize centers like Yao and Howard to get into position. Mobile big men like Kevin Garnett or Dirk Nowitzki aren't actually mobile; they're just less stiff than Chris Kaman.

Big men can't learn to sprint past defenders and handle the rock any more than Allen Iverson can learn to be a foot taller. Certain players just have certain limitations.

But this rule does not apply to Anthony Randolph. It's not just that Randolph is capable of running side by side with a hard charging point guard in a lightning-quick fast break. It's that Randolph himself is capable of running that fast break.

It is shocking the first time you see it: Randolph blocks a shot at one end, grabs the loose ball, lowers his towering frame into a crouch and takes off at a dead sprint. At mid court, he crosses over or whips the ball behind his back to avoid the steal attempt of a disbelieving opposing guard. He drives the lane, explodes off of one foot just inside the free throw line, and finishes above the rim. Gracefully.

Of course, the kid also missed more than a few of those coast to coast dunks last year, but the point remains the same. Was he inconsistent and immature as a rookie? Sure. Does his game still have troublesome holes? Absolutely. But ask any Warriors fan and they will tell you: when it comes to the purely physical component of the game - the ways in which a player can move and adjust his long body with impossible speed and precision in open play - there appears to be no limit to what Anthony Randolph can do.

Unfortunately for Warriors fans, though, Randolph's development may be largely irrelevant. In the enthusiastic embrace of the rookie's flashes of brilliance, it's easy to forget just how screwed up your franchise is.

To remind you: it's really screwed up.

The best player on the team is Monta Ellis, a point guard who has never shown an ability to distribute the ball, can't play defense, and sat out most of last season after a low-speed moped accident that he lied about to management. The team's emotional captain, Stephen Jackson, is fearless and loyal but probably a destabilizing influence more than a steady hand in tough situations. The starting center spent most of last season sidelined with injuries, the high-scoring sixth man is one of the top 5 most selfish players in the league, and the supporting cast is interesting but not exactly reliable.

And who is charged with guiding this combustible mix of young talent through the rigors of an 82 game season? Don Nelson, a 69-year-old man who can go entire quarters without leaving his seat on the bench and sees fit to down tumblers of Scotch and entertain visits from Willie Nelson and Woody Harrelson while conducting media interviews.

Nellie Ball seemed exhilirating when it meant freeing Baron Davis from the shackles of Mike Montgomery's stagnant offense.

Nowadays, I'm not even sure what Nellie Ball means.

Here's how good I think Anthony Randolph can be: before he's done, he absolutely has the potential to change the way we think about the center position. Forever.

But he's not there yet. And when you consider where the kid appears to be emotionally, his development still seems far from guaranteed. Particularly in the quantum vacuum of leadership that has existed in Oakland since the Baron Davis departure.

To feel truly hopeful about Randolph's future, the Warriors need a change. A change in direction, a change in culture, and probably a change in coaching too.

The fans will flock to Oracle regardless and they will be loud. Whether or not the quality of basketball matches the enthusiasm is another matter entirely.

Old School Treat of The Week

2009-07-19T17:40:00.000-07:00

When I grow up I want to be an Earvin Johnson fast break...

Bonus: Scope Chris Mullin with hair @ 3:45

Association Nicknames

2009-07-18T12:26:00.001-07:00

You always have to be aware that what you read on wikipedia could be totally inaccurate, but sometimes you just don't care. I burnt about 45 minutes pouring over this last night.

Tough to beat:

"White Mike" - Mike Miller.

The Pitch

2009-07-15T05:45:00.000-07:00

The Big O tosses out the first pitch last night.

It doesn't look like he's about to strike out Ted Williams with that velocity, but more than respectable all things considered. But why did Fox News show it with such a weird angle? Conspiracy theories, anyone?

NC Pro-Am Report

2009-07-14T19:02:00.000-07:00

Ray Ray Felton showed up to the other summer league tonight, and apparently he's totally out of shape. His squad eventually won, but got run up and down the court by a team made up mostly of incoming UNC freshmen, including combo guard Dexter Strickland who took it to Charlotte's playmaker.

Maybe he's been snacking on too many Sunrise Biscuits with his boy, Sean May. Maybe he's depressed about another mediocre Bobcat off season. Maybe he just likes to chill out and let it go like that in the summer. I really don't know. But the question for Ray is: Are you really that confident that DJ Augustin can't do what you do?

Because...umm...I'm not.

'More Than A Game' Trailer

2009-06-30T19:34:00.001-07:00

Pretty damned hyped for this. I mean it would be a lot better if Lebron had brought home the hardware this year, but still.

Must Have Had A Poor Work Out

2009-06-25T19:58:00.000-07:00

So let me get this straight: Dajuan Blair - a dude who at a minimum could come in right away and play as a very valuable fourth big man on any playoff team - plummets all night, because people keep repeating the scary-sounding phrase "he doesn't have ACLs".

Nevermind, that he apparently never missed a single practice or game in college due to any health reason of any kind.

He drops all the way to 37th pick where he gets picked up by...the San Antonio Spurs.

In other news, everybody should be aware that RC Buford will once again be hosting the "GMing For Dummies" leadership conference at the San Antonio Omni Hilton this summer during the weekend July 18th-20th.

If you are the currently-employed General Manager of a solvent NBA franchise, the continental breakfast IS included in your reservation!

Comfortably Numb In Bobcat Nation

2009-06-25T17:54:00.000-07:00

Pretty damn sure Gerald Henderson isn't the winger scorer we were looking for.

And yet...he is not Jrue Holiday. I really really thought they were going to take Jrue Holiday.

Curry To Oakland

2009-06-25T17:19:00.000-07:00

Hello Monta running the point...
Goodbye backcourt defense...

The Minnesota Matador

2009-06-25T17:04:00.000-07:00

Ricky Rubio running pick & rolls with Big Al and Kevin Love ALL DAY...

Bigger Surprise So Far Tonight?

2009-06-25T16:41:00.001-07:00

Amare to Golden State or Blake Griffin rocking that killer purple suit?

Draft Day - Part II

2009-06-25T13:01:00.000-07:00

Well, we lost Gillespie for Part II. And Sandy didn't make it too long. But here's our best shot at the rest of the lottery field...

7. Golden State Warriors

SW: Who do the warriors take here? Nobody good. Seriously this draft sucks. Worst since 2003, when Mike Dunleavy Jr was an "obvious" #3 pick. I hope they trade out or up and get Rubio. Jordan Hill is a clown. I think he started playing ball when he was 17 or something. Add him to the list of unskilled big-man lottery misfires in the Warriors ugly draft past.

I would rather have a PG, but Jennings, Holiday and Flynn all scare me for different reasons. Lawson is sick, but him and monta on D together? Yikes. I think the Dubs are set up pretty good with a Biedrins/Wright/Randolph front court, Turiaf coming off the bench, and Maggette playing 3 sometimes. Big ball could be the new small ball.

But every time i think about the Warriors situation, I want to punch myself in the face. It would be great to just keep Monta, Randolph and Morrow, and buy everyone else out. We need to quit this band-aid, mediocre bullshit and fully blow up and rebuild. Otherwise, it's just this constant stream of underachieving 7-10 picks. At least if Crawford does indeed go to Atlanta, we get slightly better. Acie Law is not what anyone would call a starting PG, but at least he fills the spot.

Yikes. That is embittered. I feel like that calls for this picture.

Well, the word coming out of Oakland definitely seems to be Jordan Hill, but I'm going to go with Earl Clark here. I like him better as a pick, and I think the Dubs front office might be crazy enough to take him. The thing is, at this point, you're not likely to be plucking any all-stars out of the mix. Why not go with a kid that at least has a chance to be special? Everyone agress Clark is extraordinarily athletic for his size with a chance to become a truly unguardable forward, but there is also a perception that he is raw and unlikely to realize his potential. Well maybe try drafting and then actually coaching him? I know its not Don "Single-Malt" Nelson's strong suit, but it just might work.

8. New York Knicks

SW: Do i even watch the draft after this point? Maybe, depending on who potentially will cry in the green room when they are last picked. Lawson is going to be the sleeper of the draft, no matter where he goes. He's this years Chalmers, maybe better.

DerrrrMar DerrRozan will make some Sportcenter highlights, but wont make any teams better. I'm actually pretty high on Brandon Jennings, he was the #1 prospect last year, but couldn't cut it in Europe. But the dude just has so much swag and makes jaw dropping plays on the regular. At least he has the potential to be a mega star, which is more than you can say for most of these guys. Watch his high school highlights on youtube, just NASTY.

Holiday and Flynn will be alright 6th men/ backup PGs, not really worth a high pick though. I like those 2 skinny dudes from Louisville late in the first round, but they are my pick for first to get caught with groupies and weed at the NBA rookie seminar. DeJuan Blair will be an underrated piece to a good team sometime in his NBA career. Shout out to the Wake Forest dudes, i think James Johnson will be in the league a long time because he brings the thunder and can kickbox his way into the lineup. Seriously, every team needs a 6'9 kickboxing enforcer for when shit goes down. Teague should have stayed in school, I dont see him in the league in 4 years. Better start getting your passport updated.

This feels like more of a mess than I had hoped it would be when Donnie Walsh and Mike D'Antoni took over. They've got a fair number of holes, but I think they take Jennings here. It's still a holding pattern for a few years, why hold bring in the best talent on the board, even if he's not quite ready? Not sure if he's getting booed or not.

9. Toronto Raptors

This team is going nowhere and this pick is miserable, which is a shame for one of the top 5 fan bases in the league. Toronto desperately needs scoring from the wing, and DeMar DeRozan allegedly fits the bill. Without a doubt, he'll make an ill fastbreak dunk or two, but does anyone think bringing this young player into a situation as unstable as this one is going to work out? Yikes.

10. Milwaukee Bucks

Here's an interesting fact about Jrue Holiday: He averaged less than ten points a game in college. The perfect pick for a front office that appears to trigger a mass hunger strike by their fan base.

11. New Jersey Nets

Rod Thorn is a smart GM. He wants a big man. I see him doing what few other GMs would have the stones to do and taking Tyler Hansbrough here. Is he replacing Elton Brand? Obviously not. But if you think he can't come off the bench in year 1, eat up crucial minutes, and give you something with size and toughness...then you haven't watched the kid play.

12. Charlotte Bobcats

I have no idea where Charlotte goes with this. As on the nation's only Bobcats fans, I've spent the last five years getting humiliated. Each year I debate getting a divorce. Each year I come back. This year it was the Larry Brown hire that got me. Supposedly, Larry loves Terence Williams, so I guess I'll go with him. Felton is about the only one I like on this team, so I definitely don't want to see this pick burned on a point guard.

Then again, would it even matter? Where are we going? Is there even a plan? I think Managing Partner Michael Jordan is off "hiking the Appalachain Trail" right now.

We're signing Iverson this summer, right?

13. Indiana Pacers

Larry Legend needs a floor leader and Ty Lawson is best left on the table. Maynor may be comparable (or slightly better) athletically, but Lawson is proven as a winner and mature enough to play quickly. Jeff Teague is a head case (mark my words), and I can't see him leading that team anywhere. Lawson isn't going to be Derrick Rose, but he push the rock, pass it Granger, and limit the team's turn overs.

14. Phoenix Suns

Is it clear enough after today trade talk that the Suns management are actively pushing Steve Nash to quit basketball and join the MLS. This team is beyond rebuilding mode; they are in strip-down-for-parts mode. The pick? Who the hell knows? I say they pick BJ Mullens just to see how weird he and Amare would look together.

Does this draft just get more depressing the deeper we go?

The good news is it looks like the Spurs, Magic, Wizards, Cavs, and maybe even the Celtics and Golden State are swinging for the fences on the trade block. With or without much rookie talent, this is going to be a hell of an off-season.

Draft Day - Part I

2009-06-25T10:01:00.000-07:00

It's Christmas morning in June for fans of the association. If the strong, steady breeze of player acquisitions in the past past 48 hours has not been enough to whet your whistle for the winter of 2010, then tonight's draft - weak as it may be - should do the trick.

For extra help, we turned to two esteemed members of the Mind Of Blue Panel of Ball Experts: Knicks season ticket-holder Aaron Gillespie and Warrior season ticket-scavenger Sandy White.

Below we break down the initial six lottery picks. Part II to come...

1. Los Angeles Clippers

Aaron Gillespie: Who they should and will pick is obvious: Blake Griffin. The only real question is, what will derail Griffin's career?

Sandy White: Griffin. OBVIOUS PICK. BD is gonna love this guy, but i am beyond bored with this story line. Yes he will be good. The Clips should be a lot better next year, and will be a borderline playoff team. It's dependent on who they can get for Kaman/Camby/Randolph, at least one, maybe two, of which will now be irrelevant. Not that they weren't irrelevant for the last 5 years already.

I also don't have much of a comment here, except to note the the Clippers are legally obligated to pay Zach Randolph more than $33 million over the next two years. So you know...might be time to fire somebody or give somebody a medal.

2. Memphis Grizzlies

AG: Who they should pick is Ricky Rubio. Who they will pick is Hasheem Thabeet

Like everyone else, I pretty much expect the Grizzlies to crap the bed whenever they get the chance. Enter Hasheem Thabeet. Chad Ford brings up defense and shot blocking, I bring up an inability to play offense and a tall, skinny center who will get pushed around by larger centers and have trouble defending the pick and roll because he is only slightly less awkward than Roy Hibbert. Still, he will be able to effect shots after opposing guards drive past defensive wizards Mike Conley and OJ Mayo, so he is not without value. I see 20-30 good, not great, minutes a night from Thabeet and bad value from the number 2 pick. I also see the Grizzlies taking him and thinking they have their starting 5 of the future with Conley, Mayo, Gay, Gasol the younger and Thabeet.

I take Rubio here. Given the number of teams that are really high on Rubio, you could trade him for value if Rubio refuses to come to Memphis. If you can sign him, the Grizzlies can play a below average Rubio for 20 minutes a game without harming their already miniscule playoff chances. This still leaves enough minutes to find out what you have with Conley.

SW: Thabeet. This guy would be a great fit with the Griz. Big Loser, in almost every aspect. The black Yao Ming, but without any offense. Trust me, every athletic swingman in the league is dreaming of dunking on him. Hasheem, please meet Andre Igoudala's nuts. In your face.

I'm also on board with Rubio. I actually think the Spainard is the best asset available in the draft period, but didn't dare mention him in the previous section, for fear that the Clips might actually take him.

And you know what I remember about Hasheem Thabeet's college career? It isn't the 3.8 blocks he averaged against guys who will never ever play in the NBA. It's the moment where CBS panned to the crowd during the second semi-final game to reveal that Thabeet was already sitting courtside - about 45 seconds after UConn got dropped - flirting with some dime piece and wearing Posh Spice's sunglasses. You stay hungry, big man!

Looks like Chris Wallace is dead set on Thabeet though. After all, he's quite tall!

3. Oklahoma City Thunder

AG: They should and will pick Ricky Rubio. Rubio is 6' 5'', athletic, skilled at handling the ball, and best of all - 18 years old. He can already play defense. He can already pass the ball. He may not be a scorer yet, but that is fine, he is 18 years old. I am excited to see what this kid can do with a couple of years experience in the NBA. Rubio and Durant is a core to build a team around. The only negative factor is Russell Westbrook who looks like he will be pretty good on his own and has noted some displeasure with the addition of Rubio. I try to get them to co-exist, if it does not work (either on or off the court) then you deal one of them down the road.

SW: Rubio. Kid is dirty, but he doesnt score much and I dont think that is something that develops easily. It's a concern, but Kidd and old Chauncy didnt need to and there are a lot of positive comparisons there. Sometimes you just have to throw all the stats and doubt out the window and just know a kid is gonna be good. He is also pretty tall for a point, and will fill out a lot since he is only 18. I wish the Warriors could get him, but looks like we just traded for 2 shitty PGs and have Monta thinking he can run the point. Terrible. This is an awful pick for the Thunder, but, yea, he is the best player. Just unfortunate, because they don't need him and Westbrook will cry like a girl.

There are two schools of thought on Ricky Rubio. The first is that his supposed poor pre-draft work outs are troubling. This view is generally held by certain in-the-know front office and media types.

The second is that at the age of seventeen and while injured he held his own against Chris Paul, the world's greatest point guard since Isiah Thomas, on a massively-pressured stage. This view is generally held by people who own televisions and enjoy watching basketball games on them.

Sam Presti is way too smart to not make this pick. Plus, the ghost of James Naismith desires to see Ricky Rubio run the break with Kevin Durant.

4. Sacramento Kings

AG: Who they should pick is Tyreke Evans/James Harden/Stephen Curry. Who they will pick is Johnny Flynn.

A team as bereft of talent as the Kings needs to take the best player available period. It does not matter if they share the same position as Kevin Martin, so I am not reaching down for Jordan Hill or Earl Clark when there are better guards available. I like Evans - he has good height, great athleticism and held together a Memphis team that lost its core to the NBA a year prior - but there are a number of picks who seem pretty close here. The ever helpful Chad Ford provides unattributed quotes from "sources" that have the front office split between Evans, Flynn and Rubio. I think they go with Flynn to avoid having two SGs (although Evans is almost a PG, it still seems like his future will be SG). As much as I loved Flynn in college, I just do not see why he is going in the lottery. He was a good but not dominant college player. He is not a great shooter. He is extremely fast and athletic. He can score in the lane and Rajon Rondo has shown us the value of that skill. However, he is the definition of high risk, high reward and I prefer Evans or Harden as having higher upside or Curry as a better shot at being a solid PG.

SW: I'll take Tyreke. Evans is a Gangsta . Went to Memphis and has been shit kicking every PG in draft workouts. He should though, because hes basically a 2. Every year, the draft tries to take undersized, turnover-prone 2 guards and say they can play point in the league. I don't think it has ever worked out. I could be wrong but who has made that transition well? Dont say Arenas.

True, Johnny Flynn might look something like Rajon Rondo in the league. I also think he might look something like Earl Boykins. Maybe somewhere in between if that makes sense. I also like Tyreke Evans from the remaining guards, but I truly have no idea who the Kings will pick. What kind of player should a flat, characterless team go after in an utterly mediocre draft? I can't remember...

Let's go with the red-hot Stephen Curry to mix things up.

5. Minnesota Timberwolves

AG: Who they should and will pick is James Harden.

SW: Honestly, I really don't know what Minny is looking for. In any case, I think Harden is overrated, but I guess they'll take him. The PAC 10 was terrible this year and ASU has not turned out good talent in the past. I hate Eddie House and Ike Diogu went from PAC-10 player of the year to bench warmer to trade chip in under 3 seasons. Doesn't bode well.

I'll go with Harden on my board too.

6. Minnesota Timberwolves

AG: Who they should pick is Tyreke Evans. Who they will pick is Stephen Curry

I like the trade the Timberwolves pulled off even if this draft is weak. I think Harden and Evans are the best two players left, but they play the same position. That means Curry is the selection along with Harden. I think Curry is going to be a good pro, maybe not a star. Still, the Timberwolves have to be happy with this - they get a potential lethal scorer in Harden and a solid PG in Curry.

SW: I like Stephon Curry here, and I think he is going to be really good...eventually. His game depends on where he plays though. He's going to be like Monta Ellis or Kevin Martin - very talented but small and needs to be paired in the backcourt with either a large PG who can D up or a 2 guard who can ball handle well. Also a 2 guard masquerading as a PG, but i think he is the real deal and might be able to do it. Seems much more mature and focused than a lot of these clowns.

I'll have the Wolves taking the Evans here. They fill both guard spots with him and Harden, and can pair them with Kevin Love and Big Al Jefferson (an awesomely underrated frontcourt as far as I'm concerned). I got to say though: I think both these guys could be decent one day, but will either be better than Randy Foye? I know there were other reasons for that trade, but still seems lateral to me.

That's right, Philly

2009-06-24T14:37:00.000-07:00

The 76ers organization just announced today that they're going back to the red-white-and-blue uniforms of their fo-fo-fo championship team.

So clean.

Next up should be Denver, Washington, and Golden State. And Chicago. And Phoenix and Dallas. Actually every NBA team in existence in 1983 should go back to those uniforms.

Hoops Deep Inside The Beltway

2009-06-17T11:32:00.000-07:00

Not the most well-written article, but still an intriguing read. Exactly the kind of premise I'd love to delve into deeply , if I was...you know...an actual paid journalist.

Solidarity

2009-06-17T07:18:00.000-07:00

Tweets are reporting that they were removed at halftime, but you can see a number of Iranian national team players wearing green wristbands here, apparently in support of the nationwide movement of protest.

The two nations finished in a draw.

2009-06-14T19:58:00.001-07:00

I'll admit

2009-06-14T19:06:00.000-07:00

He unquestionably belongs in this company now...

.

I'm just not all that excited about it.

Somethings are obviously...

2009-06-13T17:41:00.000-07:00

much bigger than sports. For people who haven't seen some of these videos from Iran over the last few hours:

And here's a prescient blog post from former Ford/Carter/Regan National Security Council Iran-specialist, Gary Sick.

Twitter is blowing up with accounts from last night. People are reporting deafening chanting throughout Tehran, as thousands and thousands stood on rooftops yelling "Allahu Akbar" all through the night. I don't think the global media really gets what's going on yet. Got to go to Twitter and blogs for the real thing...

Where Has Amazing Gone...

2009-06-09T16:13:00.000-07:00

The basketball itself has been fairly uninspired, and an overtime period on Sunday night could do little to cover up for three quarters of miserable play. The finals stand at two games to zero now, but does anyone think the Lakers are actually playing like champions?

After weeks of shooting the basketball like they had been possessed by supernatural spirits who had descended to Earth for the purpose of humbling the great Lebron James, the Magic guards now stink. They can't string together five minutes of quality offensive possessions, let alone a full quarter, and Dwight Howard for all his muscles and television commercials looks incapable of actually establishing position in the post.

And so we travel to Orlando tonight to see if someone, anyone, can play with the artistry or daring or toughness to justify the enthusiasm that NBA fans have felt for their league all season long.

And with such bland play characterizing the first two games, it becomes even more difficult to ignore the two truly colorless superstars now thrust upon us. To think that this series could have been about Chauncy and Lebron and Carmello and, yes, even Birdman.

Instead we have Howard, an astonishingly gifted center, who has all of Shaq's imposing physicality and none of his will to exercise it. He also has all of Shaq's childish goofiness, but none of the occasional edge that make interviews with the Big Aristotle so much fun for actual adult fans.

Howard has a thousand watt smile. He seems like a wonderful person and he is well known as a devout Christian. All is which is wonderful, but not particularly lively to watch. The history of the NBA is colored by big men who captured the imagination- the lordly dignity of Russell, the brashness of Wilt, the iconoclasm of Walton, even the improbable grace of Olajuwon. It is an exceedingly high bar, and it's unfair to ask Howard to be something he is not.

But its still true that he isn't cut from that heroic cloth.

Incredibly, though, Howard is probably the more compelling of the series's two superstars, for in this finals he stands opposite of Kobe Bryant. For an athlete who has been globally recognizable since his eighteenth birthday, is it anything short of bizarre how oblique Bryant's personality has remained?

There is the official narrative - he loves to win, he speaks Italian, he has a beautiful wife and charming two daughters - short, unremarkable, and so shallow that its bottom can be seen by anyone who still has eyes. And then there is the great, expunged event - a certain occurence in Colorado that has been written out of an amnesiac sports history like Garcia Marquez's incident at the Cienaga train station.

Of course there is a intriguing quicksand of curiosities all around the official story of Kobe Bryant. He grew up in foreign countries, learning the game without any kind of typical peer group. He went to high school in the affluent suburbs, then moved straight to Los Angeles at seventeen. He almost went to prison. His father was a famous NBA star, who is never - I mean never - shown or mentioned when Kobe makes appearances.

But you're not likely to get even the most hasty vantage on any of these stories. Even if the sports media was more interested in asking about any of it, Bryant wouldn't come close to allowing it. He is perhaps the most jealously guarded personality in sports, and that's how he'll remain, championship spotlight or not.

For my money, the most culturally compelling figure in the whole series is Hedo Turkoglu.

He was a streaky, minor contributor on the historically odd Sacramento Kings. Now he's the unorthodox go-to-guy on a contender. That's interesting. He's the greatest player ever from his home country, a nation with a surprising interest in basketball and a complicated relationship with the West. That's also interesting.

And with Ali, Abdul-Jabbar, and Olajuwon largely gone from the public eye, he is the most famous Muslim athlete in America.

That's really interesting.

Unfortunately, we're not likely to see much written about that either. Mainstream basketball journalism just isn't set up for that kind of thing. The best we can hope for is this article from the NY Times this morning, detailing how Hedo eats pizza before games and wears a silk bathrobe after them.

Actually, that sounds pretty damn interesting all things considered.

Now, if only the Turk could hit a few shots...

Simply Delightful

2009-06-08T19:37:00.000-07:00

Better than puppets...

Mormon Love

2009-06-05T21:23:00.000-07:00

The article is great. The comments are better: "Bradley was a stud", "I just think millions of Church members were let down when Bradley left BYU early in pursuit of big bucks", and the greatest ever..."One word: Racism"

One last thought before the finals...

2009-06-04T14:51:00.000-07:00

In all the discussion over Kobe's inability to win a championship without Shaq, I've yet to hear anyone mention the fact that if Kobe and the Lakers do manage to lose this Finals (and yes it is still theirs to lose), it will be because the player representing the next evolution of Shaq's style has come into his own: our beloved Superman.

After all the searching, pining and hopeful nicknaming from the talking heads in the college game and NBA draft discussions (lest we forget to true origins of Big Baby Davis' moniker), Dwight Howard alone has proven capable of dominating the block so overwhelmingly that his teammates don't even bother setting foot in the paint.

Dwight Howard is everything Shaq was at the beginning of this decade. Shaq’s best statistical season during a championship year with the Lakers was 29.7 points, 13.7 boards and 3.0 blocks (1999-2000). He was 28 at the time. Dwight Howard’s playoff numbers this year: 21.7 points, 15.4 boards and 2.2 blocks. Not to mention the fact that he dropped nine 20 point/20 rebound games this year. He just turned 23 in December.

Clearly, his offensive game leaves something to be desired at this point in his career, but I would argue that his blocks have dropped from the regular season (2.9) only because everyone on the opposing teams is shooting high-arched shots for fear of eating a Spalding pie courtesy of Chef D. I watched Rondo and RayRay do this for two weeks and everyone at the local bar suffered for it.

Nearing the end of his career, Shaq is the only current player sitting in the top 15 all time for points (#5), rebounds (#15) and blocks (#7). The only doubt I had a few weeks ago that Dwight Howard could accomplish the same in his career was his shaky offensive performance in round two vs. the Celts. But his 40 point, 14 rebound Game 6 against Cleveland melted that concern away. He also appears to carry his size much better than Shaq did, and should be able to avoid the knee/ankle/foot injuries that plague most big men after 10 years in the league.

As for the finals this year, seeing as the last 7 NBA season have proven Kobe incapable of winning the title without Shaq, is it reasonable to believe that this year he’ll be able to rip the trophy from the grasps of Shaq’s second coming? I doubt it.

(Just go with me on this…)

Getting back to the inception of this column, I do realize I'm rooting for Orlando out of pure Beantown selfishness. If the Magic take the crown, Celts fans can say that our Round 2 loss in seven games was to the eventual champ, and had we not broken down in games 6 and/or 7, we could have repeated. Even without KG. Having to watch Big Papi degenerate right before our eyes, and with House Speaker Demasi going trial for selling favors to Canada of all places, we could use a bit of a pick-me-up.

But what if Orlando does win the title? I think it makes things a lot more interesting. If we don't see any earth-shattering trades this summer, who is the favorite to come out of the East next year? An uber-motivated Lebron James? A healthy Big Three in Boston? Or the defending champs out of Orlando?

Either way, the balance of power will have officially shifted back to the Eastern Conference. Right where it belongs.

A Year-Old Diagnosis

2009-06-04T14:19:00.000-07:00

Last night, I finally accepted that we're about to see a Lakers romp. I accepted that fact that NBA fans are now going to be subjected to 9 months of commentary about the genius of Phil Jackson and the selflessness of Kobe Bryant. I accepted the fact the Kobe's legacy will now be unimpeachable, and that he's more than probably the greatest 2-guard that God ever created not named Mike Jordan.

I even accepted the fact that Sasha Vujicic and Jordan Farmar will travel to the White House to meet Barack, receive NBA championship rings, and sleep with attractive women because of it.

I headed onto You Tube, and dug up this classic. I hoped the video would have the feeling of Rick's famous "We'll always have Paris" line. And while the clip did provide some flashes of satisfaction - Kobe's creepy, Swallow-My-Hatred moment at the 1:14 mark, the raucous cheering that remains audible as the Zen Master gives his speech - it was a forgettable comment at the very end of the video that gave me pause.

Watch it till its conclusion and you'll hear Jackson conclude that 2008 Lakers simply don't have the front court toughness to win an NBA title. They have to, he says, go out and get some players.

They didn't. Instead, they lost Ronny Turiaf.

It would be beyond shocking for the Magic to keep up their white hot jump shooting through another seven game series. If they are going to win, it has by Dwight Howard dominating on the block.

I don't think its possible. I really don't. Dwight Howard just doesn't seem like that type of dude.

But, damn. Don't say Phil didn't warn you.

Question of The Day - Y'all Trying To Criminate Me Edition

2009-06-04T09:04:00.000-07:00

Is it just me or does Anthony Johnson look at little like Ashy Larry/ Day-Day Price? Is that a plus or a minus?

Charlie Murphy Lives!

2009-06-02T11:31:00.000-07:00

How do you describe the undescribable?
http://www.getyourbasketballon.com/home/index.html

Question Of The Day

2009-05-27T17:40:00.000-07:00

If you were building a franchise from scratch tomorrow and I offer you either Gasol & Bynum or Nene & Birdman, who do you take?

Tarheels & Titles

2009-05-27T10:04:00.000-07:00

I was walking across the UNC campus Tuesday morning and happened to come across Sean May and Jackie Manuel in the middle of a work out on one of the college's astro-turf facilities. A short, rotund gentleman was putting the two former national champions through the paces, blowing a whistle and gingerly tossing around a couple of medicine balls. I didn't stick around long, but the work out didn't strike me as being particularly intense.

At all.

Maybe because of all the talk that's been going around about Kobe's work ethic and its effect on his Olympic teammates, a tangential question popped into my head as I watched: why don't Carolina alumni win NBA championships anymore?

The 2004 Detroit Pistons were the last team to bring home the Larry O'Brien trophy while featuring a Tarheel (Rasheed "Ball Don't Lie" Wallace in this case) on their active roster. While this may not seem like a particularly long drought, consider the following:

In the period of 1991 to 2004, twelve of the fourteen NBA championship teams had UNC alumni in their line-up. Extend the time frame all the way back to 1978 (the year after the merger) and those numbers go to 21 out of 27, with the lean years never lasting longer than two consecutive seasons.

If you exclude the rings won by three of the era's dynasties (the Bird Celtics, the Duncan Spurs, and the Bad Boy Pistons), former Carolina players were a part of seventeen consecutive NBA championships!

In the context of that kind of consistency, four years seems like an eternity.

One obvious explanation for the dry spell would be the retirement of iconic coach Dean Smith in 1997. Every Carolina alumnus who has won an NBA championship in the league's modern era has been a protege of Smith's, and the Tarheel program experienced a fairly bumping transition after the coach's exit. This theory does not, however, account for the careers of guys like Antawn Jamison or Vince Carter, stars who came up in Smith last years but have enjoyed limited post-season success at the next level. Nor does it speak to the tremendous success that Roy Williams has already begun to enjoy in his six seasons in Chapel Hill.

At least as important as Smith retirement have been the dramatic shifts in the composition of the NBA itself that have occured over the last decade. Among the four teams remaining in this years play-offs, there are five foreign-born starters (Varejao, Nene, Ilgauskus, Turkoglu, and Gasol) and at least four more (Pietrus, Kleiza, Gortat and Vujicic) who would be considered major contributors. These numbers would have been considered absurd just 15 or 16 years ago, when Sarunas Marciulionis was considered an oddity for even making it as a sixth man with the Warriors.

Combine this with the continuing reluctance of elite American talent to delay their professional careers for a stint in college, and the trend begins to look much broader. It isn't simply a matter of Carolina guys not winning titles - there aren't that many college guys vying for the trophy...period.

Even if Roy Williams is able to replicate the success of his predecessor - and that's a big if - the days of watching Tarheels dominate the association year after year is probably long gone.

Attempt To Stomp The Yard

2009-05-25T08:44:00.001-07:00

Things got a little crazy in a quarter final of the Big East tourney last night. If you haven't seen it already, baseball players from UConn and USF staged an impromptu (or was it?) dance-off during a five hour rain delay. It was lengthy.

While the snarky critics of Dead Spin have taken this as an opportunity to heap withering, unmitigated derision on a group of perfectly good white boys, I take a more nuanced approach. There were highlights and vertiginous lowlights.

Let's break it down.

00.06: Kicking things off, one dude steps up and drops a solid soulja boy. 7 Points to UConn. The degree of difficulty is not much here and its a little played out at this point, but I still love this dance. Especially when athletes do it. I'm going to assume the Huskies were referencing the great Baron Davis here, and give them a solid tip of the cap.

00.37: USF comes back hard. Team involvement in the set-up. A fat, balding cat (is that a coach?) doing URSHER spins. Mock Photography! This is close to embarrassing but the unified enthusiasm sells it. 12 Points to the Bulls.

01.28: And from the UConn dug out...total silence. Apparently a solitary man's mediocre Soulja Boy was the trump card. There is a humiliating degree of shoe-gazing going on here, even as one or two brave souls attempt to disturb the herd. -5 Points for debilitating self-consciousness.

01.58: "Damn it, we're getting killed out there. Somebody try something. I don't care what it is...anything!" -5,643.7 Points for the ultimate panic move.

02.14: Actually I really like that #7 walks it off here and washes his hands of the whole thing. When you see what happens over the next 30 seconds, it was definitely the right call. I'm going to give you 5,600 of those points back, but only for big 7.

02.54: This is...uhh...well...you can only dance to the music that the PA guys give you. Considering the circumstances, this is acceptable. 1 Point to you UConn. But let's regroup here before the next attempt.

03.23: Wow. USF comes back the coordinated set-up and the MJ splits, spins, moon walk, and hand-stand! This is so much more advanced than anything thus far, you really have to start asking questions about preparation. Also that much more incredible when you consider that, at this point, all USF really needs to do is play prevent D and run the clock out. 25 Points for the exclamation point.

03.58: I don't know what this one is. It surprises me that a person would hear James Brown, and believe it appropriate to move their body in this fashion. Also peculiar that the rest of the Huskies squad finds activity worthy of celebration. -200 Points.

04.16: Look Out! Coach's got the happy feet again. Quite sloppy but still sold on enthusiasm. 2 Points to USF.

04.48: Annnnndddd.....UConn breaks out the Ol' Upside Down Man. This just took on the vibe of a crappy children's birthday party. When your attempts to win a dancing competition break down to optical illusion comedy, I'd say you're in trouble. Still 3 Points for catching me off-guard. Nice that they carefully walk him into the dug-out too.

05.42: This was inevitable. Zero Points to both sides. Kind of a double-technical.

06.15: Nice family event interrupted by an air hump. Somebody got a little over-excited by his earlier moon-walking success. -5 Points USF.

06.50: The first time I watched this, I thought it was pretty good. Then I watched it a second time. Still though, a solid 5 Points to both sides for execution. On a side note, isn't it funny how these guys immediately start to act like they might be about to fight, as soon as you play some Irish music. "I'm Shipping Up To Boston" would obviously be the correct call for the PA guys at this point, just to see if you could escalate things.

07.54: OK, USF is officially not your average college baseball team. Is there a point where maybe you're too into 'Rhythm Is A Dancer'? I'm talking to you, Coach...

08.32: Fellas. Fellas. Stripper Moves? You do know that Youtube exists, right? -5o Points to USF and maybe sit the next couple plays out.

10.13: This is a simple game. You throw the ball. You hit the ball. You catch the ball. And when you're getting trounched in a rain-delay dance off, you take your shirts off and slide across the infield tarp like a band of sexually-ambiguous, marauding Vikings. -10 Points to UConn.

10.37: And shake it out, fellas. A little dap to acknowledge the gravity of the moment and back to your respective corners.

11.50: UConn tries to keep things going, as they await the judges decision. However, The Cha Cha Slide is not so impressive when you can only muster two participants. Zero Points.

And the final tally is
USF: -11, UConn: -242.7

So maybe Deadspin was correct after all. Still, unlike in college football, at least the comedic homo-eroticism is intentional with these guys.

Wait, that was intentional, right?

Question Of The Day

2009-05-23T17:15:00.000-07:00

When does JR Smith have his huge game?

Everything and Everything

2009-05-22T21:25:00.000-07:00

In the moments immediately afterward, Josh, my boy since the days of elementary school, called.

Did you f***ing see that? Lebron just made Mo Williams famous.

It was a game-winner in the most dramatic fashion. A walk-off homer of a jump shot, Lebron's miracle forced new breath into a Cleveland season that, in that moment, had lain like a gray and crumpled Lazarus on the floor of the arena.

Death and life. Finality and possibility.

In it's best moments, the world of sports can bring us great metaphorical meaning and also happiness. It is possible to place to0 much emphasis (way way too much emphasis) on the outcomes. We have a multi-billion dollar media apparatus to do precisely that, and the hype can dampen the enthusiasm of even the most devoted fan.

Oh but then a sweet, improbable, impossible, high-arching jump shot like that...

As the clock wound down on a game in which the Cavaliers once again secured and then squandered a significant lead, Hedo Turkoglu hit a graceless, running 12-footer to go up by two. Despite stretches of dominance, Cleveland had again failed to deliver a knock-out blow. Orlando had finished the game hot and loose, free from the breathless pressures that stalked the Cavaliers throughout the fourth period.

When Hedo hit his shot with only a second left on the clock, the game, and perhaps the series, appeared over.

Coming out of their timeout, Lebron huddled close to Williams, explaining something. Loud music blaring from the jumbotron made it impossible to tell whether the Cleveland crowd was cheering wildly or remaining eerily quiet. As Williams held the ball to inbound, cutters swirled around James. After a beat, he took several hard steps into the lane, and then cut quickly back out past the free throw line. Williams had been waiting patiently, and he delivered a quick pass right into Lebron's hands. He turned and shot.

I spent the next twenty seconds babbling nonsense at my television set.

The shot was astonishing for so many reasons. There was so little time, he wasn't in rhythm, and it wasn't his kind of shot to begin with. It was a buzzer beater to beat a buzzer beater in a game that had become a must-win. It (perhaps) paired the ascendency of the sport's next legend with a symbolic turning point in the tortured sporting history of an iconic American city.

But most of all, the shot was incredible, because nobody besides the guy shooting it thought it was going in.

Maybe a few grade school kids in Cleveland. Maybe Mo Williams. But that's about it. Beyond the logisitics of getting a game-winner off in less than a second, it just didn't seem possible with all the momentum, all the drama of the game, moving toward Orlando and away from Cleveland.

There was a moment when Michael became Michael. Once the identity had been assumed, he spent year after year reaffirming its power and consequence to the delight of everyone willing to watch.

Lebron James just made his first affirmation.

This thing we all believed was true, this thing called Lebron, became real right before our eyes. And it happened at precisely the moment when it seemed impossible.

I would watch a thousand more games to catch another shot like that.

It was written. And it came true.

Oh what a moment.

Question Of The Day

2009-05-22T15:53:00.000-07:00

Could Marcin Gortat be the most underrated bench contributor in the play-offs?

20 Questions For Games Seven

2009-05-17T10:11:00.000-07:00

20) Can Rafer please please please put a slap upside Eddie House's head again?
Without question, the signature comedic moment of the playoffs so far. It has been called a bitch slap, a Rick James slap, or an Italian Grandmother slap. All are equally valid. I just want to see this phenomenal gesture of disrespect repeated.

19) How legit is Aaron Brooks?
Apparently very. Every time I watch the Rockets play, I am more impressed with his ability to get into and then out of the paint on any defense in the league. Derek Fisher might not be the youngest or quickest guard in the league, but Brooks is making him look downright arthritic. Add him to the NBA's shockingly long list of intriguing, young point guards.

18) Doesn't Luis Scola deserve a good nickname after his Game Six performance?
I think so. Of course, you can always sign me up for more nicknames. The three finalists I came up with on Thursday night:
3) Sweet Lou Scola
2) The Big Greezy
1) Lion of The Pampas

17) Is the Gasol/Bynum/Odom the softest, title-contending front line of all time?
Yes.

16) What kind of officiating will we see in LA?
This is precisely the kind of game where David Stern's preferences seem to come disgustingly into play. A week ago, it might have been a toss-up (don't underestimate how much the powers that be would like to see Yao go deep in a post-season), but now it seems clear that the Lakers will be getting every questionable call and even some not so questionable ones. Plus, its at home. Plus its Kobe.

15) Can Allen get it going?
Ray Ray has been ice cold the last couple games, but don't underestimate him. Allen is a Professional Shooter. I also think he needs one or two more jaw-dropping explosions in clutch games to solidify his position among the all-time shooting greats.

14) Does Brian Scalabrine have scoliosis?
Have you watched this dude run down the court? I mean really watched? I swear one leg is shorter than the other. At first I didn't want to pile on just because it seemed too obvious. But c'mon on...

13) Does anybody think the Lakers bench is anything but average at this point?
No. In fact, they kind of stink, if you don't count Odom. Forget the Cavs, having the superior bench. I'd take the Nuggets and even the Rockets bench over them too.

12) Any chance we'll see an actual fight tonight?
Probably not. After some seriously lively confrontations for the first couple weeks of the play-offs, things have really quieted down. This is partially due to some exuberant officiating and partially due to the fact that stakes are higher. There might be a few flagrants, but I can't really see anybody risking a suspension. Maybe next week, when the Denver Knuckleheads get back involved.

11) What does Rajon Rondo have in store for us?
Despite the struggles of the Celtics, Rondo has made the most impressive leap of anyone during the play-offs. No one would be surprised in least, if he dropped a triple-double tonight. Think about that. How many players can you say that about? Also, nobody would be surprised if he dropped to his knees during an out-of-bounds play and karate chopped Hedo Turkoglu in the nuts.

10) If the Rockets, lose how will Ron react?
As much I am rooting for Artest to succeed, its interesting to consider how he could react to failure - not only because he is a fundamentally volatile guy, but because there is an inordinate amount of pressure on him. He was brought in to fill a specific role for Houston (toughness, defense, third scoring option), and now he's the face of a franchise playing on the big stage. And the track record isn't great...

9) If it comes down to a final possession, who will take the last shot for Orlando?
This is the most ridiculous thing about the hazy, Howard-Van Gundy controversy this week: Is anybody sure that Howard actually wanted the ball? I mean, its one thing to complain about it after you lose, but was Dwight actually demanding it when it mattered. What's the point of having a dominant center if he doesn't dominate in the last five minutes? But this point, you are who you are in the playoffs, and it'll more than likely be Rashard or Turkoglu taking the big one. Which is actually not such a bad thing...

8) Along those same lines, will the Chuck-Wagon call out Howard tonight?
Barkley loves calling out soft, big men. If the Magic lose, or even if they win but Dwight plays poorly, I'll be waiting for some borderline offensive commentary from Sir Charles.

7) What does Pierce have left?
Everybody is talking about legacy these days, but few people bring up Pierce. If he elevates his game tonight, even if its just with an incredible fourth quarter, I think this season because a pretty damn strong part of his all-time great resume. Love them or hate them, this Celtic team has been seriously fiercesome in the face of major adversity, and a lot of that has to do with Pierce. At times, he looks tired and old, but he does he still have a few heroic plays in him?

6) If the Lakers lose, how will Kobe react?
Anybody who watched the premier of Doin' Work last night knows that Kobe has (theoretically) transitioned into a fantastic super teammate over the last two seasons. However, some of us still have a sneaking suspicion that a narcissistic backstabber still lies just beneath that shiny veneer. If the Lakers lose this game - and, granted, that's a huge If - go ahead and set your Tivo for a tremendous press conference of muted, cold rage.

5) If the Lakers, lose how will Phil react?
This one is actually slightly more interesting though. Everybody says Phil will stay in coaching till he beats Auerbach's record, but could he really stay with the Lakers after this kind of second-round exit? His health problems are well-documented, and it seems unlikely that Jackson, or Bryant, or the Laker front office, would simply load back up for an third crack at it with the current cast. Which all points an potentially dramatic (and hilarious) off-season.

3) Why does it feel like an upset every time Boston beats Orlando?
The Celtics are the defending-champs, the two seed, and hold home court. The Magic have never gone deep in the play-offs with this current roster. Yet every time Boston wins one, this series takes on a bizarre underdog feel. Remember back in 2007, when the Warriors scrapped their way to series win over the top-seeded Mavs, how everything Baron Davis and Stephen Jackson did seemed to work, and Dallas could never put their superior talent to work. I hate to say it, but this Boston-Orlando series reminds me of Warrior-Mavs in some way. Like Rondo is Baron's evil, scrawny twin. Opposites on paper but sharing some strange, mirrored destiny: to pull out an improbable series victory...and then get murdered in the next round.

2) What is the King thinking right now?
It seems pretty obvious that the Nuggets would rather face Houston next week - you always, ALWAYS, want to see Kobe dead and buried in the post-season. But who would the Cavs rather face? I'd guess Orlando. Boston would still be the champs and you never know... Actually, screw that! You do know. Lebron couldn't care less. No one, living or dead, can guard him. He isn't even watching the game tonight. He's playing Settlers of Catan with Warren Buffett and Jay-Z.

1)Are the Lakers mortally wounded?
Forget that Phil is playing it cool. I think LA will likely win tonight, but there is most definitely something wrong with this team. Over the course of the next few weeks, this weakness will be exposed over and over again, till it costs them a series. Mark it down.

And will there be anything funnier than renting Doin' Work after it happens?

"Nice and Wild"

2009-05-08T11:51:00.000-07:00

Great moments in sports are built on compelling drama. More often than not, that drama relies on heroes and villains, protagonists and antagonists, not to mention all the meaning we attach to these rivalries.

How you respond to Ali vs Frasier says a lot about how you view the world. Likewise with Agassi vs. Sampras, Cowboys vs. Steelers, or Barca vs. Real. As J.A. Adande noted in an article last year, in the racially-charged Reagan years, rooting for Boston over LA sometimes carried a message that went way beyond just basketball.

Sometimes match-ups have implications. Particularly when there's history and politics involved.

Well what about Kobe vs. Ron-Ron? Let's consider the context.

From a basketball perspective, the match-up is fascinating. One player is the most-complete scorer in a generation, a proven clutch commodity who nonetheless has a major question mark attached to his resume. The other is arguably the best perimeter defender in the league, a man with a dizzying work ethic, a superior athletic package, and a fearsome tendency to attack any perceived weakness in his opponent's psychology.

But the drama runs deeper than just that.

These are the individuals at the centers of the two most notorious events in recent league history. The first incident involved the league's marque player - at the time widely regarded at the heir apparent to Michael Jordan - being accused of a particularly sordid act of sexual violence. The second incident involved a controversial but promising young star attacking a fan after being choke-slammed by Ben Wallace and hit with objects thrown from the stands.

One of these incidents resulted in the player receiving the longest suspension in NBA history, becoming universally vilified in the press, and being placed on what appears to be double-secret probation for David Stern for the rest of his career.

The other incident resulted in the accused paying the accuser an undisclosed sum of money, and everyone from the league agreeing to never ever ever ever ever mention the event again.

One of these players always says the smooth thing in interviews, transitions eerily from personality to personality depending on his audience, and makes $16 million a year in endorsements.

The other player shares casual anecdotes with reporters about dudes from his neighborhood getting mortally impaled with chair legs, and couldn't get an endorsement deal with Zangrilli's Bail Bonds if he tried.

(Turns out that anecdote is actually true, by the way...)

One player is singularly obsessed with his legacy in the eyes of mainstream. The other seems to care only about his reputation among folks back home.

And by the way, these guys are locked in a 1-1 series that also features top-level coaching, a dozen intriguing match-up combinations, and two of three best centers in league. And they seemed like they were about to fight each other in Game 2.

Drama all the way around.

As for sides, I'll take Ron-Ron every time. Say what you will about the man, but at least he's authentic. As much as you can with any athlete, I know who Ron Artest is and I know what he's guilty of (other than being caught film acting like a thug in a league that couldn't afford that kind of imagery...but that's a whole other column.) He's guilty of losing his temper and trying to fight somebody when he felt under attack.

Not excusable but also not exactly something most of us are in a position to throw stones over either.

As for Kobe, I'm really not sure...either what he's guilty of or who he is. The guy has just always struck me as creepy. Call it subjective or irrational, if you want. I'd say it's emotional more than anything else.

Which is exactly what that drama is all about.

Mid-Series Meditation II: Dr. Jekll and Mr. Hyde

2009-05-07T14:42:00.000-07:00

In anticipation of tomorrow's game, another mid-series meditation from reformed mass-hole, Jeffrey Coots:

"Before launching into psychoanalysis of the Round 2 Celts, it seemed appropriate to share a few closing thoughts on the Round 1 series against the Baby Bulls that everyone was hyping last week as one of the best in NBA history.

The cyclical nature of sports means that without a thriller in Game 7, people will forget about any great match-up after a few years. Unfortunately, both teams looked tired, played sloppy and otherwise fell into the mold prescribed to them by countless TNT/ESPN talking heads: Boston’s experience and modified Big 3 of Pierce/Allen/Rondo will triumph over Chicago’s streaky shooters and youthful bigs (have a nice off season Joakim). One of my co-workers also made a good point that the law of averages usually bares out, and the shots that helped the Bulls to stretch it to seven games ended up catching a lot of iron on Saturday night.

Personally, I was exhausted by this series. Watching your team lose several multiple-overtime games is not good for the psyche, even if you feel secure in their eventual triumph. Not to mention the fact that there were three days between every game so we were given an extra 24-hours to mull over the poor decisions and blown defensive assignments that cost us the win. Fortunately, we’re behind the West right now, so we’ll play every other night the rest of the way through.

Now that Boston is facing the Orlando Magic, led by the Tony-Hopeful Dwight Howard, the match-up challenges have completely flopped for the Celts. Injured bigs Garnett and Powe are joined on the sideline by Mikki Moore who has struggled to learn the Celtics’ unique system of help defense. This means that Perkins, Baby Davis and everyone’s new favorite Jerry’s Kid, Brian Scalabrine, need to avoid foul trouble if there’s any chance of Boston earning the right to be the lamb to the slaughter in the Eastern Finals.

I actually watched Game 1 from a bar, so I didn’t get to hear any in-game commentary from the folks at TNT, but it looked as though the Celtics didn’t really want to be there. Anytime you give up a 26-6 run to close the half, you obviously don’t care much about the game. This is our Dr Jekll personality—passive, friendly, emotionally stunted—and this is where we miss Garnett the most. Especially when Pierce falls back into the “Well, I’m doing what I need to do,” mentality and shuts down his passing game. This also makes it two rounds in a row that we’ve dropped game one at home to a lower seed.

Throughout the game I found myself wondering what the hell J.J. Redick was doing on the floor. Honestly I wasn’t even aware he was still in the NBA and he ended up murdering us from 3-point land. What’s in store for us next round? Greg Paulus coming off the bench for the Cavs to shut down Rondo? Oh right, he got benched his senior season so he’s trying to play football now.

For Game 2, the Ubuntu Juice was flowing freely in the locker room before the game and the Celts came out with the most energy I’ve seen since, well, Game 2 of last series when they realized they probably couldn’t drop the first two games at home and still advance. The Celts’ Mr. Hyde was fully unleashed when Rondo completed his triple-double by dunking right in Dwight Howard’s face in the middle of the third quarter. Now don’t get me wrong, Rondo doesn’t have a chance if Howard was playing with the slightest bit of intensity, but Howard never even attempted to block the shot. I’m actually surprised Orlando even put a squad on the floor for the fourth quarter. Charles Barkley said it best at halftime – Orlando showed up content to split in Boston and go back to Orlando with home court advantage. All in all, not a very exciting game, but there are a few sub-plots developing for the Celts in this series.

The Celtics bench is desperately shallow right now. Brian Scalabrine is our 7^th man and threatening to become the 6^th, playing 27 and 35 minutes, respectively, in the first two games. Last night the TNT trailer guys put up a split screen between Scal and Jackie Moon. I don’t even know how to respond to that. And this is in stark contrast to Mickael Pietrus, who is surprisingly athletic and played 32 and 37 minutes in the first two games dropping 17 both nights.

After a solid Game 1 where he toyed with relevance, Starburry settled back into his usual bullshit. I think what I enjoy most about his game is that after he passes up a good, in-rhythm shot that makes sense to our offense he likes to follow it up by taking an incredibly long or wild shot on the next possession, and he usually manages to do this with more than 12 seconds on the shot clock. Clearly he and Mikki Moore have not panned out the way Danny Ainge had hoped.

As for the whole Eddie House/Rafer Alston smack upside the head…Remember earlier in the season when we were hearing opposing teams complain about how much shit the Celtics were talking before, during and after games? This seems be one of the side effects of Garnett’s defensive intensity/borderline insanity that he brought from Minnesota last year. Eddie is certainly one of the worst offenders in this department and his mouth will likely earn Rafer at least a one-game suspension for his dope slap late in the third quarter. Van Gundy knew enough to put Rafer on the bench for the rest of the game, but Doc left Eddie in to run up the score and reach a personal best of 31 points in a playoff game.

Classy, that’s how we do it in Beantown.

So this series really depends on which Celtics team shows up each night, and the same can be said for the Magic. Neither team looks much like a title contender right now, although that may change. I’d hate for the Celts to stretch it to 7 games again when the Cavs look poised to sweep, but that might be what it takes to fend off an up-and-coming Orlando team. I’ll do my part and drink my share of Ubuntu Juice on Friday night, and I know the rest of the Brotherhood will do the same. We’ll have to wait and see if King Garnett manages to spike the G on the road in Orlando."

Goodbye, Detriot Dream!

2009-05-04T09:59:00.000-07:00

It used to be there were only a couple ways to win an NBA championship.

Way back when, before this LeBron character came on the scene there were really only two types of teams you could build, if wanted to contend.

The first type of team was tried and true: call it the Two Superstar Model. It involved signing or trading for two (three if you were really lucky) elite scorers and building around them as best you can with one-dimensional, complimentary players.

This is the prototype that brought titles to Miami, San Antonio, and Boston, and resulted in a three-peat in LA. It was consistently dominant, if not exciting.

The second type of team was more distinctive, idiosyncratic even, but all the more tantalizing for its rarity.

When the 2003-2004 Detriot Pistons raised the Larry O’Brien trophy as the world’s greatest basketball team, they raised a few eyebrows along with it. Not only did they lack the requisite two elite scorers, they didn’t really have even one.

Instead they won with defense, with chemistry, and with balance. They moved the ball and feed off each other’s energy. They played smart and tough, and they didn’t really have to share the spotlight, because there wasn’t much spotlight on them to begin with.

You could make the argument that 2004 was the strangest NBA season we’ve had in recent memory and the Pistons couldn’t have done it any other year, and you’d probably be right. But they still won a championship. An NBA title is never a fluke; the play-offs are too long, the format too exhaustive. The Pistons won four consecutive seven-game series and came up in the clutch every time the money was on the table. In the process, they created a new blueprint for success in professional basketball that, for a moment, made the game a little more exciting.

Just five years later, we forget how remarkable Detriot was that year. The most prominent member of that team – and the only all-star – was an undrafted, 6-9 center who had been acquired basically as a throw-away player in a sign and trade with Grant Hill. Ben Wallace averaged a devastatingly-ordinary 9.5 points per game that season, and subsequent seasons have demonstrated that this was just about his offensive ceiling.

The scoring came by unorthodox ensemble: Rip Hamilton (17.6) was the fanatically restless shooting guard, who earned his buckets not from high-flying penetration but by being more active off the ball than anyone in the league. Tayshaun Prince (10.3) was the lock-down perimeter defender and occasional three-point specialist. Mehmet Okur (9.6) was the spark coming off the bench, creating match-up problems with his size and shooting touch. And Rasheed was Rasheed (13.7), raining corner threes, protecting the paint on defense, and bringing a locker room swagger to a team that nobody believed could win the title.

The only player likely to remembered as special in any kind of historical sense is Chauncey Billups, who along with Jason Kidd, redefined the point guard position with a dangerous combination of size, physicality, and intelligence. But despite his continued dominance at the position - witness last week's round 1 evisceration of Chris Paul - Chauncey isn't exactly a superstar. He's the kind of guy you'll tell your grandkids about - not the kind of guy that they'll know about on their own.

When the Pistons knocked out the LA in the famous "five game sweep", they defeated a team with four undisputed hall of famers. The Laker organization considered their playoff loss to San Antonio the previous year as some kind of fluke, and had assembled that 04 squad to dominate by sheer, overwhelming superstar power.

Instead, they were dismantled by a bunch of guys that casual fans had never heard of.

America celebrated, Kobe complained, Phil Jackson quit, and a new kind of dynasty seemed possible.

Unfortunately, the Pistons were never quite able to replicate that initial triumph. They made it to four more Conference Champions, but never got another title. Then came the Iverson trade, swapping the team's most indispensable component for a guy who couldn't even finish the season.

This year, the Pistons were unceremoniously swept in the first round by Lebron and company, and frankly looked terrible.

So where do the Pistons go from here? With the cap money likely to come off their books thanks to Allen Iverson, the prevailing opinion is that Joe Dumars will go after a mega-star or two in the summer of 2010. If he succeeds, Detroit could be back at the top of the Eastern Conference hunt in no time.

But everyone knows it won’t be the same. The Cinderella Champs, the Pistons that took it all the way with nothing but hard-nosed defense, quirky chemistry, and unselfish balance are officially done.

Is there anybody out there to fill their shoes? Portland and Denver are both built around intriguing mixes, but does anybody think they're true contenders at this point?

Interestingly, the team that once looked like a possible successor to the Detriot model, the Utah Jazz, just finished getting shellacked in the first round almost as badly as Pistons did. Two years ago, Utah looked like a fascinating combination of several multi-dimensional talents on the verge of making a huge leap.

Now, they look like a mismatched web of overlapping, flawed individualists who all hate each other.

Ironically, the only team that seems poised to win one or more titles over the next few years without the luxury of two superstars will do it with less, rather than more, balance. If the collective talents of 2004 Pistons were rare, the individual talents of Lebron James are even rarer.

But before The King takes his crown, before the long reign begins, we ought to take a moment and remember Detroit and the dream of the Superstar-Less Dynasty. Like a lot of dreams, it was short-lived and perhaps a little silly.

But it sure was to fun, for a few years, to keep the dream alive.

A Mid-Series Meditation

2009-04-27T12:28:00.000-07:00

Due to vacation in New Orleans this weekend, we asked the Celtics die-hard fan that you know and love, Jeffrey Coots, to post some personal thoughts as the defending champs find themselves once again caught in a first-round dogfight.

Makes even more sense after last night's double - OT thriller:

"After Ray's shot fell with two seconds left to seal the win on Monday night, the knot that had been growing in my stomach throughout the fourth quarter settled a little deeper in my gut. Not that I needed a physical manifestation to remind me that the Celts were no longer the team to beat in the Eastern Conference. Unable to sleep after such a terribly executed game, I was left to wonder what else my gut was trying to tell me? If only I could channel dubya or Stephen Colbert, then maybe I could get a good night's sleep during round one. Here's what the sheep and I have come up with so far:

In Game 1 we saw Ronda and Pierce play pretty well, with Ray struggling to find his shot the whole night. Obviously Rose took over the main stage, answering every good play by Rondo with a layup at the other end, but Gordon and Salmons didn't really have much of an impact. They looked like what we'd expect from the Baby Bulls in their first road game of the playoffs. Nobody anticipated Rose would outplay Rondo like that, but most people would also doubt that Rose can maintain this level throughout the whole series (See: Game 2). All in all, Boston played pretty well and I thought we should have won that game -- and likely would have if Pierce didn't miss a key free throw at the end of regulation.

For game 2, Rondo gets hurt after responding to Game 1's loss with a solid performance in the first quarter, but Starberry's a no-show and Ronda has to play hobbled for the entire second half. Pierce looks tired after the first quarter, settling for jumpshots and giving up on possessions at the other end. Ray starts slow...again. Then Powe tweaks his knee (we later find out he's out for the year with a torn ACL), and Perk gets his third foul two minutes into the second quarter, leaving Baby on the court to make his way towards a team-leading 21-shots for the night. With Garnett already in street clothes, dapper as they may be, this is basically the perfect storm for the Celts to find themselves down 0-2 for the series, and I'm thanking my lucky stars that the coaching staff wasn't complacent and didn't wait until year two of the Garnett Era to make a serious run at the championship (Did I just compliment Doc Rivers?).

There was actually one sequence in the second quarter where the Bulls were forcing the Celts to run their entire offense through Blackjack Baby, and he took 5 shots in 8 possessions. Mixed in there we had Starberry throwing a pass out of bounds to Eddie House, which he stupidly tried to save, starting a 4-on-2 break the other way. I remember looking to my Dad and saying "This is not how you win playoff games."

The Bulls, meanwhile, have all the momentum going into halftime and Gordon continues to explode in the second half, while Miller and Salmons are running the floor and taking advantage of Boston's shitty transition defense. This is also the point in the game when I realized just how much I hate Joakim Noah. Does anyone on the Chicago coaching staff think he should be putting his finger to his lips to hush the Boston crowd in game 2? Has he seen the opening credits to The Departed with footage from the busing riots? If he keeps shit up I wouldn't be surprised if he gets a beer dumped on him heading into the locker room after the game, maybe even halftime if we're lucky.

Ultimately Ray saved the day again with solid shooting in the second half and some last second heroics, but the Celts got outplayed the last three quarters and should have lost that game. If you're the Bulls, and you're able to convince Boston to set Blackjack Baby loose on the floor, you've gotta be disappointed to lose that game.

The only challenge for the Bulls seems to be figuring out how to share the ball so that they can be firing on all cylinders. If they find their comfort zone at home and win 2 out of 3, all they have to do is steal one more game in Boston to advance. Scary.

Looking back at earlier predictions:
"Even without Kevin Garnett, the match-ups don’t work for the Bulls. Is Ben Gordon better than Ray Allen? Is John Salmons better than Paul Pierce? Is Derrick Rose better than Rajon Rondo? No, Hell No, and Not Till Next Year."

After two games I'm felling like: Maybe this year, if so we're in trouble, and one out of two ain't bad. This is my hoops nightmare. "

Play-Off Predictions in the Key of Cliche

2009-04-17T10:57:00.000-07:00

The world of NBA playoff analysis is full of stale aphorisms and the unimaginative commentators who love to repeat them.

Experience matters. Defense wins championships. Don’t worry, Tracy’ll be back next year.

Sure these statements are generally true, but who wants to hear them for the umpteenth year in a row. And what about the really interesting scenarios that act as exceptions to the rule? Scenarios like…

Defense wins championships…except when you’re the Utah Jazz playing Michael Jordan in the ’98 finals during which you can hold home court advantage, execute a solid game plan, put in the team defensive effort of your life, and he will still stab you in the neck because Michael Jordan is a basketball machine who lives to murder the dreams of his adversaries.

Well in the spirit of trying something new while still giving a nod to convention, I figured I’d take a crack at breaking down the playoffs using an equally pervasive yet inane tradition: political clichés!

Nobody does the tired and supposedly astute like the DC elite. So here are some of their favorite phrases used to shed light on the newly released match-ups:

Round 1
All politics is local...

Long-time Speaker of the House Tip O’Neill’s famous maxim supposedly came out of a lesson from his father, a colorful Irish pol in Boston, to never lose touch with your constituency. The idea is simple: while politicians often get caught up in peripheral matters, elections are won on basic, local issues. Kind of an appeal for electoral common sense.

Sometimes is best not to get too analytical in basketball too. The first round looks pretty straight-forward:

The Cavs and the Lakers will both win easily, because they are excellent, they hold home court, and they are both playing teams that stink and hate each other. Both Utah and Detroit will sneak one at home, but that's it. Boston and Orlando should also roll, because Chicago and Philly simply don’t have enough talent to compete in a seven-game series. Even without Kevin Garnett, the match-ups don’t work for the Bulls. Is Ben Gordon better than Ray Allen? Is John Salmons better than Paul Pierce? Is Derrick Rose better than Rajon Rondo? No, Hell No, and Not Till Next Year.

Dwayne Wade is good enough to beat the Hawks by himself. You can doubt it if you want, but I'm not sure you do…

Blazers-Rockets is interesting, because Ron Artest is likely to do as well as anyone checking Roy, but how can you get behind Houston in this one? The Blazers have a great home crowd, a great coach, a deep bench, and the best player in the series.

I’d love to take the City of New Orleans against Denver, but I recently saw them lose a game with play-off implications to the Golden State Warriors, so…no thanks.

Only the Mavs seem poised to upset the expected order. And I only say that because (1) Jason Terry looked ludicrously hot on Wednesday night and (2) a lot of the problems that Dirk has had over the past few years, and by extension the problems of Dallas as a whole, have struck me as principally psychological.

Ever since losing to Wade in the Finals, losing to BD in the first round, and receiving the most emasculating MVP award of all time, Dirk has looked shook. In the past, those kind of public humiliations have occasionally motivated players to elevate their game to a new level. But Nowitzki isn’t Michael Jordan. He’s an introverted, German oddball, and all the negative scrutiny changed what he was capable of as a player.

The pressure is finally gone, though, and the Mavs look like they’re having fun again. And when it’s on, Dirk’s high-release jumper is still one of the only truly unstoppable moves in basketball.

Plus, the Spurs just feel old. Of course, a solid counter-argument would be that Tony Parker is going to incinerate Jason Kidd all series long, but I doubt that it will be enough.

Cavs over Pistons in five.
Miami over Atlanta in seven.
Orlando over Philly in six.
Botson over Chicago in seven.
Lakers over Utah in five.
Portland over Houston in five.
Mavs over Spurs in six.
Denver over New Orleans in seven.

Round 2
Some candidates fight best with their back against the wall…

Remember two winters ago, when the Republican presidential nomination looked like a two-man race between Mitt Romney and Mike Huckabee (with Rudy “Benito” Guiliani as the tantalizing sleeper pick)? Then the ‘Live Free or Die’ State interceded, and a Mavericky Come-Back Kid named John McCain came out of nowhere to seize the crown.

Every DC pundit with a press pass opined on McCain’s ability to campaign best when he was cast as the underdog. And to a certain degree, they were right.

Well, the most exciting match-up of the second round could definitely end up being the Orlando Magic against the suddenly-underdog Celtics. Can't you hear the Doug Collins tidbits about how this adversity has galvanized the Boston locker room? Can't you visualize Kevin Garnett on the bench in street clothes, howling at the jumbotron after a Kendrick Perkins dunk? Can't you imagine a 30 point game from Rajon Rondo?

And doesn’t Orlando seem a little soft to be twisting the knife against the defending champs? I mean, I know Dwight Howard is a “dominant big man”, but I think he’s the first “dominant big man” that I’ve ever seen get out-scored and out-rebounded by David Lee and Robin Lopez in consecutive games in the last week of the season.

I’ll take the team with the Win-One-For-The-Manically-Competitive-Gipper narrative.

In other news, I have to believe that the Cleveland will handle their business at home against the Heat, and I’ll take Denver over Dallas. Not that I like Denver. Just that their flaws seem less glaring than Dallas’s.

The Blazers-Lakers match-up is intriguing, as every print columnist has already mentioned, but I just can’t see it this year. Blake is too slow to exploit the Fisher/Farmar combo, Pryzbilla is too limited to bother Gasol, and I still get the feeling Lamarcus Aldridge is a little too…uh…emotional to control a play-off series.

Cavs over Miami in five.
Boston over Orlando in six.
Lakers over Portland in seven.
Denver over Mavs in six.

Confernce Finals:
Elections are won by turning out the base…

Back to basics. Sometimes the better team is just better at doing what they do than you are at stopping it.

Remember how that whole comeback kid tactic that had worked against Mitt Romney fared once McCain went up against Barack ‘The Real Deal’ Obama? Not so well.

Who exactly is going to guard LeBron? Is it (a) Paul Pierce or (b) no one? Neither of these is a good scenario for Boston, since they’ll also be counting on Pierce to carry a significant load on offense. Simply put, the Cavs win this series, because they have home court advantage, a much deeper bench, more flexibility offensively, and the best player on Earth.

The Lakers have similar advantages out West. I wouldn’t be surprised if the Nuggets got a game or two with particularly explosive performances from Carmelo or J.R. Smith, but you got to think that, at this point, the Black Mamba will be smelling another title shot.

Can snakes smell?

Cavs over Boston in five.
Lakers over Denver in five.

NBA Finals:
No contribution is too small…

The saying seems particularly apt in politics these days, after seeing the Obama campaign outcompete a pair of fundraising juggernauts by collecting thousands and thousands of $10 and $20 checks from all over the country.

The saying also seems appropriate for a match-up between two dominant teams that have relied on their benches all season long. Of course both of these teams have singular talents, but it is also the Varejao hustle plays and the random threes from D-Fish that got these teams here.

To some degree, we know what we will get (or at least what we should get) from Kobe and LeBron. But will Odom finally step up and demonstrate his superior athleticism on the big stage? Does Delonte West have a few crucial shots in him? What is Trevor Ariza capable of when the money is on the table? Could J.J. Hickson get in the mix with a rebound or two? In a series that will likely see dozens of different line-up permutations, there’s a lot to be intrigued by.

Of course, none of this is likely to matter too much in the final two minutes of these games. At that point, it all comes down to the whole reason we watch these play-offs to begin with: Kobe vs. Lebron. The two best closers in the world in a game with serious legacy implications.

I’ll take the the King.

Cavs over Lakers in seven.

The Chip Comes Back To Tobacco Road

2009-04-12T21:39:00.000-07:00

If you’re a young college basketball player today, would you rather win a National Championship in front of millions or run the break with President Obama?

Obviously you take the championship, but the choice might give you a surprising amount of pause. After all, we’re not talking about Dick Nixon here. This is Barack, America’s first black President and arguably the nation’s most inspiring politician in forty years. Wouldn’t the opportunity to play pick-up against a world leader with a jump shot hold some allure?

Well, if you’re the North Carolina Tar Heels, you’ll never have to worry about a choice like this. You can just have your cake and eat it too.

Late last April, with vitally important primaries in hoops-obsessed North Carolina and Indiana on the horizon, President Obama received a much needed boost in the press by getting in some high-profile run with the Tar Heels. Of course, back then the President was still a Senator, and the Heels were still smarting from a disappointing Final Four exit, resigned to the notion that half their starting line-up would be playing in NBA uniforms in 2009.

A year later, everybody from that pick-up game is feeling pretty damn good.

On Monday night, Roy Williams’s ball club ended their season exactly where they started it: as the consensus best team in the land. Carolina dismantled Michigan State from the game’s opening whistle. They went straight at the Trojan big men, banging the ball inside to Tyler Hansborough and Deon Thompson. Wayne Ellington rained high-arching jumpers from beyond the arc. Carolina even got an impressive performance the baby-faced freshman Ed Davis, who notched eleven points in 14 minutes and offered a tantalizing view of what future might hold in Chapel Hill.

The game’s most important performance, however, came from Ty Lawson, who demonstrated once again just how dominant a superior guard can be at the college level. The lightning-quick junior dictated the pace of play at will, turning the national championship game into a frenetic, forty-minute track meet. Once Lawson got going, Michigan State never had a chance.

Carolina won because they played their game effectively. They dominated because they took a page out of President Obama’s playbook and turned their supposed greatest weakness into a strength.

Having heard all week that their defense was inconsistent and even lazy, the Tar Heels applied suffocating pressure to the Spartan backcourt. Lawson had seven steals in the first half. Seven. He picked up one more in the second half to set a championship-game record.

The Tar Heels also gave the President another boost on Monday: Obama was on record picking them to win in his ESPN-televised bracket.

Hoops has often had a slightly political shading at ‘The People’s University’. Dean Smith is revered in the Old North State for his two NCAA championships and his eleven Final Four appearances. But North Carolinians also remember him for the courageous stand he took on integration in the state. They remember Charlie Scott and when the coach spoke out against the death penalty and the war in Vietnam. Some of them even still hold out hope that Dean will run for office himself.

The Tar Heels are a cultural obsession in a state with a complicated history. In March of 1995, North Carolinians fell in love with Jerry Stackhouse, Rasheed Wallace, and a UNC team that came damn close to earning Smith a third title just before his tearful retirement. Two years later, they re-elected Jesse Helms to a fifth term in the US Senate.

This past November, Barack Obama carried that same state with the complicated history by less than one percentage point of the vote. Along with Virginia and perhaps Indiana, North Carolina was the most impressive pick-up in the candidate’s electoral landslide. The state now has a Democratic governor, eight Democratic congressmen in Washington, and clear Democratic majorities in both houses of the state legislature. As for Mr. Helms’s old seat? Despite a costly and bitter campaign from her incumbent opponent, a Democrat picked that up too.

As the political landscape of North Carolina changes, it is the enduring success of Tar Heel basketball that remains a constant.

Just another one of those ‘have your cake and eat it too’ situations.